Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
