im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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