Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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