The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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