I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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