His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
