The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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