what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The Olympian is in my bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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