the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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