You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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