someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
