He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
