This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
