it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
