The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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