Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
