what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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