nut hugger
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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