oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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