i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
