There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
