people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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