If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
