i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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