"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
