This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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