We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize