It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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