Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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