My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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