I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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