Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
