I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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