the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
