She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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