Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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