Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So vagazzling was a success
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
