Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
