Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
