Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
