what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
