In the future we'll all be gay
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
