So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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