Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
