I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
