There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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