she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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