I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
