But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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