my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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