She went from zero to smokin in five shots
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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