I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
