Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
