I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
