Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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