I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
